Transitions! Transitions! Supporting PDAers through transitions
- Shoshana Friedman
- Mar 25
- 5 min read
How can we support PDA people through transitions? How can we best think about this challenge?
Whenever I think about transitions and PDA or Autistic people, I sing "Transitioooons, transitions!" to the melody of "Tradition" from the musical Fiddler on the Roof.
Transitions are a big, hard deal for many neurodivergent people, especially Autistics, ADHDers, and PDAers of all ages - not just kids!
However, the supports that are usually recommended for transitions can backfire for PDAers.
Visual timers can increase the sense of pressure and trigger our "loss of autonomy" antennae.
Reminders or 5-minute warnings can trigger "loss of autonomy" antennae and "loss of social equality" antennae.
A visual schedule may work for a day or two, then the novelty wears off and it triggers "loss of autonomy" as well.
The transition may be an attempt to get the PDAer to do something or go someplace that is outside their safe circle, and resisting the transition is a self-protection method.
How do we support transitions for PDAers of all ages using The PDA Safe Circle™ Approach?
If you're a PDA Safe Circle™ member, the links below will take you inside our course.
If you're not yet a member, you can grab your free week here!
To support a tricky transition with a PDA kid, teen, or adult, you can ask yourself these screening questions:
Is the activity you're trying to transition to helping the PDAer access an aspect of thriving, or are we pushing it because of a cultural norm?
Is the activity set up in a way that works for the PDA nervous system and Autistic brain wiring?
Even if the activity would in theory help the PDAer to thrive and use their strengths, does it fit inside their current safe circle?
If the answer to any of these above questions is NO, then the transition itself isn't actually the primary challenge.
For instance, a child who isn't able to transition out of the house to school may not be able to do so because school itself is outside her safe circle and causing panic. The transition isn't the primary issue here. The issue is that school is outside the child's safe circle. Solving the transition and getting the child to school is kicking the can down the road and often leads to burnout. The same can be said of an adult who is struggling to transition to work if work is outside the PDAer's safe circle.
If the activity you're trying to transition to isn't serving the PDAer and/or doesn't fit in their current safe circle, it's best for the nervous system if we drop the activity (i.e. stop school or take a break, change jobs or take a break from working) until either the safe circle widens or something significant changes about the accommodations provided at the activity.
However, stopping or taking a break isn't always feasible, or not feasible right away. In that case, we consider the need to do the activity as a blue arrow jabbing at the PDAer's nervous system. Then we articulate a Design Challenge to help us get everyone's needs met as best we can given all the constraints involved.
If the answer to all the screening questions is YES, then the transition itself is the primary challenge, and we use PDA accommodations to support it. Here are a bunch that can be helpful.
You can draw a mini demand diagram specifically for the transition. A mini Demand Diagram is where you take inventory of the arrows (stressors, demands) jabbing at your PDAer's nervous system in a specific situation or around a specific task - in this case, the transition. Often by breaking down the stressful task or situation into specific arrows, we can see how to make it easier and more accessible.
Common arrows during transitions:
Visual timers and 5-minute warnings.
Too many reminders before the event
Anticipation
Excitement
Pressure - internal or external
But there can be many others. Check out Drawing Demand Diagrams for more support on this exercise.
Use declarative language for your PDAer (you or a child!) to just let them know the activity is coming up if they don't know. "Karate class is this afternoon." Or gently tell yourself: "I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow at 3pm." Only do this once or twice total if you're supporting someone else.
Attune to your PDAer's body and attention state before initiating a transition. If the PDAer is monotroping (deeply focused) on a task, it's not going to be easy to transition.
You can are to offer something sweet and cold to eat.
Another option, if you are supporting a PDAer, is to gently enter their attentional space and hang out there with them before cueing the transition. I will come up and watch my child game, and regulate my body energy to match his for 15+ minutes before suggesting a transition at a time in his game where he is at a natural stopping point.
PDAers, you can do this for yourself by tuning into your body and just gently wondering what you might need in this moment.
Minimize spoken language about the transition. Parents, you can try initiating with an action (like bringing over a popsicle or their shoes) instead of with words.
Refrain from arguments, convincing, or cajoling. If the PDAer's body or words say NO, back off, let them have some space, and then try again in a bit.
Focus on providing supports such those below.
If your PDAer is in inner conflict with themselves, hold compassionate space for that. Refrain from arguing or convincing. This is a nervous system struggle, and only feeling safe will help.
The Big List of S's to Support Transitions.
PDA adults, these aren't just for kids. You can offer many of these to yourself!
Safe nervous system (for a child, having a calm adult. If you're alone, you can call a friend!)
Safe body language (i.e. relaxed face, put your body at or below the PDAer's eye level)
Supportive self-talk if you are your PDAer ("Ok, no big deal." "I'm in charge here." "I wonder what my body needs...")
Something sweet or salty to eat
Something to suck on
Sounds to listen to (music or white noise or singing can ease transitions)
Support putting on shoes, clothes
Stim to hold (a fidget toy, a stuffy)
Special interest engagement (infodumping about a special interest is a great transition activity! Parents, you can try asking or making a statement about your child's special interest. Adults, you can call a friend or record a voice memo about a special interest before, during, or after leaving the house)
Screens (i.e. playing a game on a phone, or watching a video)
Silliness (i.e. a silly walk, a rhythm, a puppet, a silly face)
Singing (a made-up silly song, or sing a favorite song, or sing along to a recording)
Imagine having all of this and more one tap away on your phone.
The PDA Safe Circle™ is ready to welcome you!
|  |
Comments